5 Things Highly Motivated People Don’t Do
Not doing the wrong things is just as important as doing the right things
We all have heroes in life. Parents, teachers, friends, sports figures, musical artists, business tycoons. We receive immense value from the fruits of their labor. They exemplify courage, fortitude, and determination. They espouse values in line with our own.
Most importantly, they motivate us to be slightly better today than yesterday.
Motivation can be a tough egg to crack. It’s often fleeting — some days we have it, some days we don’t. There are days I can move the world. There are also days I can barely move.
Asking yourself “How to become more motivated” is the wrong question. A quick Google search returns a mountain of information that’s ineffective at worst, anecdotal at best.
What should interest you are the things motivated people don’t do. The bad habits they don’t have. The bad relationships they don’t keep. The negative situations they actively avoid.
Here are 5 things highly motivated people don’t do.
1. They don’t dwell on past mistakes
Highly motivated people make mistakes like everyone else, but they don’t let them derail their focus. If they fail a test, botch a presentation or miss a deadline, they dust themselves off and carry on. Mistakes won’t stop them from achieving their goal. They accept them, learn from them and move to the next thing on their to-do list.
I’ve failed at entrepreneurship twice. I’ve made plenty of mistakes. But they’ve made me more motivated than ever to succeed this time around.
“You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. You close the door on the past. You don’t forget your mistakes, but you don’t dwell on them either. You don’t let failure have any of your energy, any of your time, any of your space.”
– Johnny Cash
2. They don’t reject constructive criticism
Highly motivated people don’t fight feedback, they embrace it. They understand they don’t know everything, that others may have something useful to say. They listen. They learn. They make adjustments.
Rejecting feedback stunts personal growth and development. It decreases efficiency and increases the probability of errors. It discards learnings that may have served you down the line.
It took me a while to learn this lesson.
Feedback can be uncomfortable. But growth occurs outside your comfort zone. Motivated people thrive on that.
“Ask for feedback from people with diverse backgrounds. Each one will tell you one useful thing.”
– Steve Jobs
3. They don’t neglect reading
A love of reading is a bonafide superpower. It’s the ultimate skill – it can be traded for literally anything else. It reduces stress. Helps you sleep. Improves brain function. It’s one of the best ways to learn. And highly motivated people love to learn.
For many of us reading is a chore. We avoid it like the plague. I try and read for 60 minutes a day, and some days it’s hard.
If you dislike reading, ask yourself this: have you ever read something that truly inspires you? Start there. Read about what you love until you love to read.
“I would say the four most important skills are reading, writing, arithmetic, and then as you’re adding in, persuasion, which is talking.”
― Naval Ravikant
4. They don’t avoid asking for help
Highly motivated people ask for help. They know it will get them to the finish line faster. While you may pride yourself on figuring things out, or perhaps you’re uncomfortable asking for help (there’s that damn comfort zone thing again), the desire to succeed must overwhelm any feelings of insecurity.
I guess you better find something worth pursuing! But that’s another article.
“Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of strength. It shows you have the courage to admit when you don’t know something, and to learn something new.”
– Barack Obama
5. They don’t maintain toxic relationships
[ tok-sik ] adj: 1. Of, pertaining to, affected with, or caused by a toxin or poison. 2. Acting as or having the effect of a poison; poisonous. 3. Causing unpleasant feelings; harmful or malicious.
The definition says it all — relationships classified as “toxic” destroy you. They poison you from the inside out, sapping your energy both physical and emotional, draining you of patience and compassion until all that’s left is hatred, mostly for yourself.
Highly motivated people take hard steps to remove toxic relationships from their lives. They know the freedom they’ll experience is worth the effort. Freedom to focus on their goals and ambitions. Freedom from infuriating conversations and undeserved condemnations. Freedom from the anchor they wear so tightly around their neck.
“Avoid people who mess with your head. Avoid people who intentionally and repeatedly do and say things they know upset you. Avoid people who expect you to prioritize them but refuse to prioritize you. Avoid people who can’t and won’t sincerely apologize. Avoid. Avoid.”
– Unknown
Scott Mayer is a runner, thinker, curious observer and certified personal trainer.
Photo credit: Zoltan Tasi on Unsplash