Stop Being Proud of Being Busy

“John, good to see you! It’s been a minute. How’ve you been?”

“Scott! Things are great man. Busy, really busy. I can barely keep up, ya know?

“I hear you. Life is non-stop. It’s what we signed up for right?”

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I’m willing to bet you’ve had an interaction like this.

‘How are you?’ isn’t so much a question of how you’re doing, it’s a greeting, similar to ‘What’s up?’ or ‘How’s it going?’ Upon meeting a friend I hadn’t seen in a while I tossed out this familiar greeting and was greeted with the all-to-familiar answer:

“Busy, really busy.”

I remember being struck by his response. Not because he uttered those specific words, but because I hear them (or some variation) all the time. ‘Busy’ appears to be the default response to ‘How are you?’

Busy. How did we land on busy? How has it worked its way into everyday vernacular? Personally, I work hard to minimize how busy I am — eliminating unnecessary work and planning down time into my day. Am I missing something? Are we humans supposed to be busy all the time?

Not at all.

Our obsession with being busy is one of the biggest drivers of stress, anxiety and tension we have in today’s world. I’ve seen more misery in the name of being busy than anything else.

Being busy isn’t the badge of honor we make it out to be. It’s the exact opposite — a veneer masking something dark and insidious. It’s time we stop valuing being busy and start prioritizing our sanity.

Here’s how.

Stop conflating being busy with productivity

The sentiment runs deeper than I originally feared.

I went to Thesaurus.com. The synonyms for busy? Engaged. Working. Active. Employed. Lively. Energetic. The antonyms? Idle. Lazy. Unemployed. Disengaged. Inactive. Quiet.

No wonder we place so much emphasis on being busy. Even the thesaurus espouses its “value”.

You must separate being busy from productivity.

Productivity focuses on goods and services actually brought forth. If you’re a writer for example, being productive could mean prodigious output — publishing frequently. It could also mean making consistent progress over time or consistently hitting deadlines.

Being busy does not always indicate productivity.

Think about a recent crazy work day. How much time was spent responding to emails and IMs? How much time did your boss waste complaining about Mike in accounting? And let’s not forget how you had to jump in and fix the lunch order debacle for the big 12:30pm meeting.

I’m sure you were busy as hell that day. I’m also sure you got very little work done.

Stop conflating being busy with success

Ours is an image-driven culture.

Everywhere we look we see the same thing — “successful” people wearing expensive clothes driving expensive cars looking extremely…you guessed it…busy.

Businessmen and women businessing seven days a week. Instagram influencers jetting around the world snapping photographs at every turn. Suburban soccer moms and baseball dads toting children here there and everywhere in their $80k SUVs.

Party planners running around like headless chickens the day of the event. TV pundits overanalyzing children’s games and screaming over each other for relevance. Friends and acquaintances subtly comparing job titles and work loads.

If you’re not busy, if you’re not constantly in motion, you’re idle. Lazy. Unemployed. Disengaged. Inactive. Quiet. Only through being busy could you possibly become engaged. Working. Active. Employed. Lively. Energetic.

Never mind the inner peace that comes with taking your foot off the gas. Forget the serenity that comes with slowing down. Don’t think about the low levels of stress and anxiety. Or the improved sleep quality. Or the more mindful ways of thinking.

Definitely don’t consider the physical benefits of proper rest and recovery. Or the spiritual benefits of sitting with your thoughts. Or the increased time spent with loved ones.

And lastly, under no circumstances whatsoever, think about your personal goals, dreams and desires and how to achieve them.

Wait…that looks a lot more like success to me.